I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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