i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
