Tell her she can't have a vagina
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
