Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
