lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
