so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
