remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
