He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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