no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
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