It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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