I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
he shaved USA in his pubs
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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