I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
