You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
