yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
