Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize
