we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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