happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
