It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
