Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
