just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
