Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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