Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
