We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
