Define "chronic" masturbator.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
