If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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