it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Also, beer. Big fan.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
