She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
