why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize