i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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