What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
