Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
