Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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