He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You ate ashes out of my bong
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
