he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You've changed since you got that strap on
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
