His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize