She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Randomize
