Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
