he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
So here I am, sexting at work.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize