I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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