I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
His hands were made for my vagina.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
