I want to stick my p in your. b.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
