If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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