I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize
