Having a random hookup so left but love u
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
