its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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