Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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