i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
