yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize