I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
The beers last night were like the tears from god
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
