just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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