I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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