1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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