Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
