my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
