They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
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