I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
