I faked an abortion last night.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Randomize
