I wish I could teleport
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
