I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
