Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
