Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
