Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
