No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I think your dad took our porno
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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