Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
