hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Randomize
