So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
