i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
