think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
