Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Help. Why am I so naked?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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