Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
