He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
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