There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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